(Editor’s Note: This is a first-person account of our EBC correspondent in New Jersey, Elle Aguilar, who lives with her 80-year old mother in the US. She talks about how she tries to keep the required physical distance between her and her mom at this time of the virus pandemic. From the usual hugs and kisses, she is now learning a new way of showing love – by keeping her distance so her 80-year old mom stays healthy and safe.)
By Elle Aguilar
Eagle News Service
NEW JERSEY, United States (Eagle News) — I don’t know about you.
But in this time of self-quarantine, social and physical distancing, I’m not as concerned about myself.
I’m more concerned about my 80-year old mother. She is feisty! But something I’m thankful to God for is, at her age, she’s healthy. She has no maintenance medication whatsoever. All she needs is to have an apple every morning with her cup of coffee.
Mom Elvie or “Guama Elvie” as my nieces and nephews call her — loves to cook and bake her signature banana bread. She moves around the house all day.
Even when she watches TV — she does simple stretches and exercises.
In between TV shows, she takes care of her mini-indoor garden. She just wouldn’t stay still
No one can tell her to not do anything.
Because she will find a way…
I like seeing her active and strong. That’s how I know she’s not sick — or feeling under the weather. To this day — she’s running the house!
On weekends or whenever i get the chance – we will go for a ride – just for her to get some fresh air. That’s also our mother and daughter bonding
These days, however, everything is uncertain because we don’t know what lies ahead of this public health emergency.
When the COVID-19 pandemic happened, I made sure mom understood a lot of things will change at home. First of all, because of her age, she is considered at a higher risk to contract the virus. So she’s not allowed to go out for the time being.
But for me? I still have to work and run errands.
I explained to her that whenever I am home — we both have to wear masks and keep our distance — at least six feet away from each other! This means we have to eat separately— watch TV separately, talk to each other from a distance. Pretty much do things in different rooms in the house.
If I see her in the kitchen, I let her finish what she’s doing before i can even proceed to do something for myself. At times she forgets and so I will remind her.
We have to change our usual mother-daughter rituals of hellos and goodbyes.
Everyday, when I leave her, and every time I come home, there is something amiss. I miss hugging and kissing her. I miss the tap on the back that we give each other whenever we hug. I miss holding her and bugging her. She’s so close yet so far. And no matter how much I’d like to hold her, I have to stop and remind myself, that it’s not healthy to do that right now.
Staying away from her is for the best right now.
Our lives changed dramatically because of COVID-19.
I need not go out to see the change. It’s right in front of me.
My mom and I are somewhat like strangers in our home.
Look around you what do you see? How are you affected? How is your family affected?
Whether we like it or not, we have a responsibility to make sure our parents, our children, our friends are safe. And no matter how inconvenient social or physical distancing is, we have to observe it. Because we love them.
More than likely, it will take a while before our lives return to normal.
For now, we need to sacrifice and endure to make sure that we and our loved ones are safe and protected.
Amidst all this, I will not lose hope. I will stay positive. I will keep the faith.
And praying every moment I get, makes everything bearable.
(Eagle News Service)
